Put Your Mind To It, Go For It

Being Nice to Me

Posted on: May 7, 2010

The Weight Watchers (WW) program considers its weekly meetings to be a major factor in the success of its members. I once had a WW leader who told us that we need to come to the meetings because “your fat friends don’t want to hear it and your skinny friends don’t understand.” AMEN! That leader was spot-on.

In my experience, a weight-loss and healthy lifestyle support system has been a major key to the success I’ve had with the program. I’ve found my support first from other WW members at meetings, then as part of a WW message board, and now from my husband and a few friends. But all of our support can’t come from others. It is equally important to be supportive of myself.

The message board I frequent posts a healthy tip of the day. Today’s seemed especially relevant to me:

Villanova basketball coach, Jay Wright, quietly celebrates a small victory.

BE A COACH…Think of your head as the coach and your body as your team. For success, all parts of the team need attention. Be a good coach. Encourage and praise yourself.

Twice in my life I have been criticized for being “too nice.” I never knew that having a good disposition and being compassionate could be a character flaw, but apparently it is.

1. In college, when I applied for the Head Resident Assistant position my senior year I was seriously considered for the role, but turned down because Residence Life thought I was “too nice” to enforce the rules strictly enough.

2. At my yearly review for my first job out of college, I was tasked with toughening-up before receiving a merit increase. Part of my role required me to manage sales staffers to provide me with information on various deadlines. I never let those deadlines slide (I’m OCD for meeting time goals), but something about the way I handled those situations was “too nice” to deserve a salary bump.

Why, if I am repeatedly deemed to be “too nice,” am I not all that nice to myself?

If you put me in a room with my friends (or even complete strangers) I could easily point out 2-3 things about those individuals to compliment. And I’m talking about real, genuine compliments; not surface-y BS. But, if you task me with point out 2-3 things to compliment about myself, it is a real struggle.

Can you relate?

Last summer, I participated in a fitness boot camp. One woman, who I’d admired from the beginning of camp commented: I really need to see results. I saw a picture of myself from last week and was disgusted. As far as I was concerned, there is nothing remotely disgusting about her. She’s tall, slender, and in great physical shape. I couldn’t imagine looking like her and ever being disappointed by my appearance.

While I couldn’t imagine being dissatisfied if I looked like her, I could surely point out 5-10 things about myself I’d like to improve. And what I discovered is that I’m not the only one. Every woman in the boot camp, and nearly every woman I know (and many men too), could quickly rattle off a list of things they dislike about themselves. But, flip the coin and ask them for a inventory of things they are proud of and it would take significantly longer to compose that list.

I know a very few people who have no problem praising themselves. They have overly inflated egos and like to remind me and everyone around me how great they are. Typically those people annoy me. But, I think it might be worth trying to steal a bit of their mojo for me.

I don’t need to buy a megaphone and announce how great I am to the world, but I can certainly do a little positive self-talk on a regular basis. It’s amazing how much nicer I can be to myself when I decide that I like me.

So, to steal the tip from my message board, I am tasking me (and you) with this goal: Be a good coach. Encourage and praise yourself.

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1 Response to "Being Nice to Me"

What a great post Karen! It’s so very true that we are our own harshest critics. I know it’s very true for me. Every time I meet a weight loss goal, I find myself finding new things about me that I don’t like instead of looking at all the good changes. Maybe I need to change my mentality regarding my body image.

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Hot Sundae

Fictional girl singing group, Hot Sundae, sang "Put your mind to it, go for it, get down and break a sweat!"

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